I Don't Like Books by Jane Austen

There. I said it. I don't like books by Jane Austen. I really, truly don't. I don't necessarily dislike them, entirely. But, as I said, neither do I particularly like them. I want to, if that helps. Listen, I know. You don't have to shout - I can hear you across the miles of cyberspace between us. Every literary-minded woman with an ounce of breeding and an iota of romantic spirit likes Jane Austen! I know! I SAID I KNOW!

I've pretended, for years, to like her writing. I read "Pride and Prejudice" with gusto, and dutifully saw the Colin Firth version. When Hollywood released a more accessible one in 2005, I even dragged my poor husband there - and scolded him for falling asleep during the moment when dashing Mr. Darcy confesses his love to Elizabeth in the rain (despite my true feelings about Jane Austin's stories, I really did feel his slumber was inexcusable! It was, after all, a very moving scene). And it's not that I disliked the movies. They were… fine. I'd go so far as to say I loved some of the scenes (like the aforementioned one. And the one pictured above). But that was the problem. I only loved some of the scenes. The scenes in between those few I'd describe as "okay" or even "forgettable."

I also read, and watched, Sense and Sensibility. And Emma? Yes. Emma too. Oh, and I endured Persuasion for a book club study, and practiced my acting ability as I - I think quite convincingly - portrayed a reader who was enthralled with the love story and beautiful sense of setting Ms. Austen created for her readers. 

Truly, I can't fault her writing. It's finely crafted, with breathtaking moments of sheer emotional brilliance. But there is something about the majority of her characters that repel me, and something about the style that is off-putting. Maybe it's the nuances of class relations that get to me. Maybe it's her propensity to include the texts of the letters characters write to one another.  Maybe it is simply the number of uninteresting words between the exceptional ones.  Whatever it is, it defeats me at every turn.

It's not that I don't enjoy literature from different time periods, nor that I somehow dislike romance. Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre is, I think, my favourite book of all times. I've read and re-read and re-read it, and have tearfully watched every film version I can find. Shakespeare's The Twelfth Night and his Much Ado About Nothing are glorious in play, film, and written formats. And I absolutely love Charles Dickens' Great Expectations (although to be perfectly honest, I much prefer his second more "hopeful" resolution to his dreary original one and I believe it to be far superior - judge me as you will!)

Even as I write this post, I feel a sense of trepidation. Can I still call myself a lover of true literature - and a romantic - without a love of Jane Austen? Is there something about her writing that I'm missing? And is there one book out there that she's written that will make her writing click for me? If you have the answers, dear readers, do tell. Please, do. 

After all, as Jane Austen herself writes, "The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid." Ouch indeed.  

My Relationship with the Anti-Hero

I'm a big fan of heroes. I looove them, in fact. Superman. Thor. Captain America.  And I don't mind the "dark hero" either. Batman, maybe, fits this definition. Wolverine. T.V.'s Buffy? Characters whose past and troubled "edge" have be-smudged their heroic qualities, but haven't managed to negate them. Both the hero and the dark hero are clearly noble, courageous, self-sacrificing. They portray characteristics we can count on and admire.  

But to be honest, while I adore heroes, there is a special place in my affections for the anti-hero. 

What's an anti-hero, you ask? Well, the Merriam-Webster online dictionary says an Antihero is "a main character…who does not have the usual good qualities that are expected in a hero; a protagonist or notable figure who is conspicuously lacking in heroic qualities." 

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't like all types of anti-hero. Often, the anti-hero is clearly a villain - a villain who we are told to align ourselves with and root for. I think of shows like Breaking Bad or movies like Natural Born Killers, where the audience is meant to be on-side with characters who are utterly morally corrupt. I avoid stories where I'm manipulated into rooting for a straight-up bad guy.

No, the type of anti-hero I find myself drawn to is the fallen character, who, despite his (or her) moral corruption, may not be utterly unredeemable.  A character who evokes my sympathy by being his own worst enemy - who does right in spite of, and at times against, his own nature. 

I'll throw some definitions at you, if you're still with me:

"An anti-hero is a flawed hero, and therefore, much more interesting than the more traditional heroes. They can be working on the side of good, but with a tragic flaw, or a horrible past, or for reasons that are selfish and not entirely "pure." They can also be working for the side of evil, but with hidden intentions or other underlying complexities." (Urban Dictionary)

"The anti-hero is often a reluctant hero who does not consider himself capable of accomplishing the goal. He might be selfish, addicted, corrupt, sullen, or disaffected… in many cases, the anti-hero dies at the end of the story, even while overcoming his faults." (WiseGeek).

"The anti-hero is a kind of protagonist, who has aspects of the morality we've traditionally come to associate with the antagonist. An antihero is a protagonist who is as flawed or more flawed than most characters: he is someone who disturbs the reader with his weaknesses yet is sympathetically portrayed, who magnifies the frailties of humanity." (Writer's Digest)

Even Wikipedia gives a nod to this definition, acknowledging "the term is sometimes used more broadly to cover the flawed or part-villanous hero, in the literary tradition of the Byronic hero."

Ah, the Byronic Hero. Here it is, in the words of Lord Byron (from The Corsair)

"He knew himself a villain—but he deem'd
The rest no better than the thing he seem'd;
And scorn'd the best as hypocrites who hid
Those deeds the bolder spirit plainly did.
He knew himself detested, but he knew
The hearts that loath'd him, crouch'd and dreaded too.
Lone, wild, and strange, he stood alike exempt
From all affection and from all contempt. "

I read somewhere that if there's a chance he can be redeemed, he's an anti-hero. If not - villain. I like this.

With this type of anti-hero, we get a picture of someone imperfect - who is capable of great evil - but who is "human", just the same. We feel for him, because the human experience can be painful or difficult, and we relate. And we root for him to change because ultimately, that is humanity at its finest - acknowledging our own darkness or fallen nature and then, somehow, finding undeserved redemption and becoming something new. 

I think of Monroe, in Revolution - and Miles, too, for that matter. Loki, in Thor II. Riddick, in Pitch Black. Or a number of Joss Whedon characters: Spike, in the old Buffy series, Mal and Jayne in Firefly, and of course, Dr. Horrible in the classic Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog.

 These are characters who are completely Selfish. Angry. Hard. Callous. Somewhat…unbalanced. At least, at the start they are. But during the course of their journeys, although they are still, in many ways, selfish and hard, they also somehow defy their nature and do the impossible - display self-sacrificing courage and humanity.  

For example, in battle, Loki - whose motivations of course, are not selfless, nevertheless risks his life to save not only his brother, but also the woman his brother loves. In Pitch Black, Riddick is persuaded to re-enter the dark, killer-creature inhabited valley to rescue some shipmates, at his own peril. And, of course, Spike sacrifices himself for the world. 

I find these characters resonate with me, perhaps, because I find the character who does good in spite of his fallen nature a more moving picture, maybe, than the one who does good because he simply is good.

On the other hand, if you'd ask me who I'd rather have come to my rescue, I'd go with Superman, please. While the anti-hero is fascinating and relatable, I'd prefer my rescuers to be reliable. 

On Books and Movies

I love books. Love them. I love losing myself in the written word, as my imagination brings to life the world and characters the author has created. I love the richness of texture and detail that only written language can create in the mind. 

I also love movies. Love them. I love losing myself in the beauty of the mise-en-scene, in the world and characters created by the writers, directors, actors, and all others that work together to create the art of each film. 

What I really love, I guess, is story. Give me a good story, and I'm happy. The medium matters in that each form brings with it a unique and beautiful method of storytelling, but story is what I love. 

Perhaps that is why book-to-movie adaptations never quite work for me. There are a few exceptions, of course. Certainly, I can think of a few of these movies that are beautiful in their own right, even if they aren't entirely true to the book. Some, I must admit, I have even preferred to the book - where a change in character or storyline seemed more satisfying than the original work. But more often than not, when a film is made from a novel, it seems to me a string of scenes woven together to create but a poor reflection of the original story.

It's only natural, I suppose, that these adaptations would be left wanting. After all, the author has had, in most cases, hundreds of pages to build their worlds, to create depth of character, and to enhance the  intensity of the story. As one experiences the book, the author's vision interacts with the reader's own imagination, building - together - the complex and vivid textual universe. On the other hand, directors can show you the scene, and a good director can add depth and beauty unrivalled, at times, in the best imagination, but in terms of character, scene, and story, they really only have a couple of hours to create what would have taken a reader much longer to experience. Nevertheless, I'm always excited to see the film version of a book I love - and I admit, a great movie adaptation will often drive me to read the book.

Because I love story. In all its glorious forms.

News about Amber Rain!

We're nearing the end of January, as you may have noticed. February is around the corner, and for me, this means a number of things: a new semester at school, increasingly chilly weather (if that's possible!), and, of course, the release of my first novel, Amber Rain.

If you're not in the know, my sister Celesta and I wrote Amber Rain a few summers ago. It was her idea to embark on this writing project together, and to be honest, I was a little nervous about it. I'd only just started writing again, having recently completed a draft of my novella "Dragonfly". Even more worrisome was that my sister and I are both passionate people, by nature, and I was worried about damaging our relationship - I'd seen, first-hand, close relationships permanently damaged by business.

It didn't take much to be convinced to go ahead with it anyway. We'd come up with the title and general idea when we were teens, and the story had waited long enough to be told.

Writing this novel with my older sister was absolutely exhilarating. I'd even go so far as to call it "A thrilling literary adventure," as we shaped our characters individually and then together, bringing them and their world to life.  Not that we never disagreed, mind you.  To my surprise, in writing conflict, it turns out my sister is the level headed one!  Eventually the story was finished, and then it was on to editing, and more editing, and more editing. Now, our baby is almost ready. The cover is designed, the manuscript is edited, our release date is set - now, just we just need to release it! 

It'll come out on e-book in February and paperback this spring. 

Stay tuned, readers! Hey, and thanks for joining me on this journey!

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Back to Work We Go...

It's been a beautiful two weeks, celebrating the holiday season and enjoying our time together in our crisp, cold, Canadian winter. Now, Sunday night has arrived, and as I sit here, listening to the overdue laundry drumming in the dryer and resting my laptop on the stack of tests I intend to mark before bed, I am incredibly thankful for the time of rest and rejuvenation offered by this Christmas season.  

Tomorrow, work begins again. I'm looking forward to seeing my students and teaching my classes, but I will miss the peaceful freedom of having nowhere to be and nothing that takes me away from my children and my husband and the sweet joy of being with my family.  

But I think it's true, that "in this world of change, nothing which comes stays, and nothing which goes is lost."(Anne Sophie Swetchine). 

Motivation and My Writing Journey

I once heard someone say that if you can find the right punishment or reward, you can make a person do anything. The speaker was one of my Faculty of Education professors, and he was making reference to classroom management and encouraging student success.

He was talking, of course, about motivation. Not everyone is motivated by the threat of detention or low marks, he said, just as not everyone is motivated by stickers and good grades. But, he was sure, everyone was motivated by something, and the key to success was finding the right motivation for each student. I think he was definitely onto something, although I must admit, I still have not been able to find that one motivating factor for each individual student. I work on it daily.

The same idea can apply to most areas of life. It's January 2nd now, and of course, Facebook is full of New Year resolutions, bravely announced to the masses. And to be honest, I've made some of my own, too - not that I'll be posting them publicly. I've tried to be specific this time around, wording them as "goals" rather than vague promises. I'm not so sure I'll have any more success than in the past, but time will tell.  I wonder, though, if I have the motivation I need to achieve my goals, and if it will be enough.

Some of my goals, of course, are health related, habit related, hobby related. Some relate to my physical self, some my mental self, some my spiritual self.  And I'll admit right here, some have to do with my writing. I want my writing to continue to move forward. I don't want to lose my momentum or my motivation.

I used to have this great passion for writing, back when I was much younger. The first time I thought I wanted to be a writer was in third grade. I wrote all the time back then. In high school, I wrote my first novella, a drama about a good girl who "saves" a bad boy. I still grin when I think about it: my teenage angst, crushes, worries, and creative spark working to create a rough, heartfelt tale written by a fourteen year old. I also started a novel with my sister, which we didn't, of course, finish.

Soon, life and time happened.  I got married young, and married life proved, at various periods throughout the last fifteen years, to be moments of great freedom and no curfews, times of serious challenge, and a series of grand adventures with my best friend.  My years at university and my hilarious job as a video store clerk didn't allow a lot of time for creative writing, although I dabbled in poetry and short stories and dreamed of writing my great novel.

When I became a teacher, and then a mother, time for writing grew more scarce and, moreover, my creativity was better served dreaming up new units for my high school English students and creative play with my kids. I was completely fulfilled with my amazing jobs as a mother and as a high school teacher. On maternity leave, I did some professional business writing, with three longer, non-fiction articles published in magazines and far too many uncredited on-line articles. I still dreamed of writing a novel - in fact, a friend of mine and I came up with a plot outline and first chapter of a book I may still write one day - but that was as far as it went.

And then, my sister began to flourish in her own writing career. She began writing in earnest and independently publishing her work. She began selling her books and calling herself a writer - because that is what she had become. I looked at her with wonder: she was doing it. She was fulfilling her calling and courageously following what she felt God was leading her to do. I can honestly say I wasn't - and still am not - jealous. Not at all. In awe, is more like it. In awe, and inspired.

And so, with her encouragement and example, I tentatively allowed my previous passion to creep back in and I wrote about a character who had been living in my head since I was twenty.  When it was finished, I had my first short novel -  maybe you'd call it a novella - entitled "Dragonfly." It's 54000 words of  urban fantasy. My character has life.

The second piece I wrote, I wrote with my sister. She reminded me of the story that we'd started back in high school, the piece that was unfinished and, to be honest, written like we were back in high school. We started again from scratch, using only the title and the general idea. We worked through it one summer, and at the end, we had this beautiful short novel that I really love. Not only did I get to experience the creative process with my wonderful sister, but again, we gave life to characters we only imagined. In case you're curious, it's called "Amber Rain", and we'll be independently publishing it. So, stay tuned.

Since then, I've written two more pieces, one completely finished and edited and the other in its draft stage. And let me tell you, writing is pleasure: dreaming up stories and crafting worlds and using our beautiful language. It makes life even busier, though, since I'm still teaching (and loving it) and have two beautiful, active, amazing children who absolutely come first in my life. And, of course, I am still blessed with a husband who makes married life a happy adventure.

I mostly write by night, now, and sometimes during that 1:00 nap time that still happens on Saturdays. Which brings me back to motivation. I think back to when I first wanted to write, and how that desire eventually slipped through my fingers. Now that I've rediscovered the joy of creating fiction, I don't want to lose it again, and I wonder - how does a writer stay motivated?  When there are so many things that are important to me - relationships, recreation, and of course, my job - how do I make sure I continue to find time for writing?

This new year, I want to continue building on what I've started. Time will tell.

NaNoWriMo, December, and Other Things I Like

At last, December has arrived. More specifically, December has arrived and is in full swing. Amid the beauty of the winter snow lies the hectic rush that the season always brings. Time blurs by, filled with Christmas shopping, family gatherings, staff parties, piano recitals, outerwear shopping and, of course, the desperate rush to finish student marking before the two-week break. It's a wonderful time of the year, but also an insanely full one. And this on the heels of National Novel Writing Month in November.

If you've never heard of NaNoWriMo, here's a quick summary: it's an international, not-for-profit event, where writers sign up and attempt to complete a 50,000 word novel in a month. Now, I use the word "complete" loosely. The novel is no more completed at the end of the month than, say, a house is once you finish the frame. I don't know about house building, so perhaps the metaphor doesn't quite work, but you get the idea. The 50,000 words, at least for most writers I know, works as the starting point. It is a very rough first draft, subject to months or, for some, years, of tweaking and revision. But it is, at least, a start. And, for me, a thrilling, exciting, exhilarating, emotionally fulfilling start at that. Now, you have those writers who, of course, frown upon the month of writing. They say it encourages bad writing. They say it rushes the process. They say you should be writing every day so why make a month dedicated to it. But I say to those critics... "Nay!" Listen, everyone, people engage in NaNoWriMo for a number of reasons. A number of valid reasons, I might add.

For instance, writing 50,000 words of anything is challenging. When you're creating worlds and characters and conversations in a coherent fictional story within the time frame of a month, I dare say, it can be exceedingly challenging. But some people enjoy a good writing challenge, especially if you're literary minded. For that reason alone, I'd encourage anyone who loves writing to give it a go. It is, frankly, fun.  Moreover, though, NaNoWriMo also allows you to set a writing goal - publicly if you wish - and gives you a deadline to meet. It provides a structured opportunity to write and a way to convince friends and family to give you space to do said writing - some people need that. It encourages you to connect with other writers (through forums, local write-ins, etc.), and gives you a designated place to talk about your work. It provides the opportunity to work through writer's block by forcing you to keep going, to keep writing, to make your word count. Sometimes the only way to get over writer's block is to write. When you're trying to write 50,000 words in 30 days, you are forced to write, even amid your writer's block. And let's not forget that it gives you an opportunity to create that first draft you've been waiting to create. As I tell my students on a regular basis, you can't edit what you don't have. Finally, there have been a number of very successful books published that had their start in NaNoWriMo. Ever heard of "Water for Elephants"?

The problem with NaNoWriMo, of course, and maybe a reason the critics dislike it, is that some people think that a month is all it takes to create a literary masterpiece. Unfortunately, unless you are some kind of writing genius, that is not the case. But sometimes, a month is all you need to get a good start.

Anyway, this November I wrote 50,000 words of my next novel. The novel is finished, in that it has rising action, a climax, falling action, and a resolution. But it's not actually even close to finished, in that I have about 50+ notes along the margins of scenes to add, details to change, and items to revise. And that's not even including the editing that needs to take place, from mechanics to structure to word choices. The novel won't actually be finished for a very long time. But boy was it a fun way to start it.

Now, we're onto December. And life is so full I can barely breath. Marking and shopping, mostly. And prepping for classes. And planning Christmas activities for my Sunday School kiddies. And attending social gatherings, which I'm not complaining about. Actually, I'm not complaining about any of it really. Life is full, but it is good. The tree is up, the lights are on, and the Christmas music is playing. I have my novel patiently waiting for me on my laptop, a cup of coffee in my hand, and a stack of marking on my desk. I am blessed with work, blessed with family, blessed with the beautiful snow.  And of course, with the ability to procrastinate.

My essay marking calls now, I must answer. Happy second week of December, everyone!